Faith
I've been thinking a lot about faith lately (and by that I mean faith in god) . . . . I did have a 9 hour drive back from KY with only a brief stop to buy gas so I had some time. Now normally I don't blog much about politics, religion, etc but I'm going to break with that tradition. I don't mean to offend anyone but I'm sure I will. I would same I'm sorry but I'm not.
Anyway, back to thinking about faith. It seems that my brother had a lot of faith. I always used to mock the holiday and other occasion cards I would get from him as they were always hyper-religious. I always thought it was hypocritical to send religious cards to relatives with whom you barely had a relationship. However, it was clear at my brother's funeral that his faith was much more than the church as a social outlet and item of convenience. Apparently he had been exploring becoming a minister. It seems that he wanted to go to Africa to be a minister. I learned that he sometimes filled in when needed with ministerial type functions at neighboring community churches.
It's puzzling to me. How could two people who were raised similarly end up so different? I lack that faith and I also have a strong distrust/dislike for organized religions. To me I just can't see a difference between all the various religious options let alone a difference between the various christian options. I also don't understand how people can take the bible so literally when it was written by men and then translated by men. It just seems like something that was meant as a collection of stories for reflection and not something to be taken as the final authority on all issues--not unlike many interesting books that give you opportunity for reflection. And yes, I have read the bible so I'm not speaking from a complete lack of knowledge. I once memorized and recited the entire chapter of John for a church competition and received a red leather bible with my name embossed in gold as a prize.
Now that's not to say that I don't have a spiritual side. I have really come to love the chanting and singing that we do in my kundalini yoga class. It's offers a nice moment for an inner reflection. I am not a hardcore atheist as I do think there could be something more than just life as we live it. I'm intrigued by atheism though and the idea that this is it. There is nothing more to life than life as we live it. I also love the idea of fate and love to say things were fated but I also think you have to make fate happen and not sit around waiting for it so I guess that's not really fate. I also like the Freedom from Religion Foundation as I do think religion needs to get out of government (and going to Kentucky reminded me of that). I like the idea of there being something more to life than just life but I don't know what that something might be, should be or could be.
Here's the thing though, my brother and I both went to church a lot as kids--Sunday morning, Sunday night and Thursday night every week. My parents must have had some faith to go to church that often and it certainly bothers my mom that neither my sister or I go to church. However, my brother always seemed to have more success at the endeavor of being a good church member than me. We were both baptised the same day, in the same lake and by the same minister. I was probably 10 or so and my brother would have been 13. However, we seemed to take different paths after that. Frankly I don't know what drove my brother to be baptised. I think I did it out of fear more than faith--better safe than sorry would probably be a good explanation.
In addition, my brother did a brief stint as a Sunday school teacher when he was in High School. I served as the Sunday School offering collection girl one year but that just lead me to criminal activity (enough said). My brother always went to summer bible camp as well but it freaked me out so I never went. (If you've seen the cycle-smart cx dvd you know that I have a fear of camps). My brother and I did once go to a weekend bible retreat in the winter. I'm not sure what he got out of it but for me it was my first exposure to cross country skiing (see, so I can't say that organized religion never did anything for me). I do remember that he skipped the sermon part of the weekend just as much as I did so he certainly had his moments.
It was from my brother that I learned to ask questions about what was taught in Sunday School. I don' t remember that ever getting him into trouble but somehow when I asked questions it caused people to freak out, cry and generally be unhappy with me. In high school I eventually went too far and caused a big uproar in the church which subsequently caused me to declare that I would never go back. And I did stop going to church then.
During college my brother had a brief atheist stage. He did get married in a church though so it must have been short lived. Somehow though he came back to faith with a vengeance. I always thought it was because he moved south and that going to church was required to have any social life. It seems it was much more than that.
Anyway, at his funeral I marveled at the faith that everyone proclaimed that he had. His wife, his kids, his friends, his neighbors they all seemed to believe that although he would be missed that he now had moved on to this fabulous place with god and that he took comfort in that when he went into surgery.
Is the difference my environment in Madison versus Kentucky? Is there just something innate or genetic in some people that they come by faith easier than others? Is it just that some people are more skeptical or cynical about everything? It is interesting and I have no answer.
I don't have any answers that's for sure. (And I'm struck by the feeling that I will now be struck by lightning for my blasphemy or some such thing that is used to strike fear in the heart of godless children).
I had hoped to offer a discourse on the differing salads available in the south versus the north at church functions. However, Dave and I did not partake in the post-service luncheon as my mom wanted to go back to the hotel to rest. You can blame my mom for the above less amusing blog entry as I'm sure a contrast and comparison of jello salads, fruit salads, pasta salads, ham sandwiches and other luncheon goodies would have been much funnier.
Anyway, back to thinking about faith. It seems that my brother had a lot of faith. I always used to mock the holiday and other occasion cards I would get from him as they were always hyper-religious. I always thought it was hypocritical to send religious cards to relatives with whom you barely had a relationship. However, it was clear at my brother's funeral that his faith was much more than the church as a social outlet and item of convenience. Apparently he had been exploring becoming a minister. It seems that he wanted to go to Africa to be a minister. I learned that he sometimes filled in when needed with ministerial type functions at neighboring community churches.
It's puzzling to me. How could two people who were raised similarly end up so different? I lack that faith and I also have a strong distrust/dislike for organized religions. To me I just can't see a difference between all the various religious options let alone a difference between the various christian options. I also don't understand how people can take the bible so literally when it was written by men and then translated by men. It just seems like something that was meant as a collection of stories for reflection and not something to be taken as the final authority on all issues--not unlike many interesting books that give you opportunity for reflection. And yes, I have read the bible so I'm not speaking from a complete lack of knowledge. I once memorized and recited the entire chapter of John for a church competition and received a red leather bible with my name embossed in gold as a prize.
Now that's not to say that I don't have a spiritual side. I have really come to love the chanting and singing that we do in my kundalini yoga class. It's offers a nice moment for an inner reflection. I am not a hardcore atheist as I do think there could be something more than just life as we live it. I'm intrigued by atheism though and the idea that this is it. There is nothing more to life than life as we live it. I also love the idea of fate and love to say things were fated but I also think you have to make fate happen and not sit around waiting for it so I guess that's not really fate. I also like the Freedom from Religion Foundation as I do think religion needs to get out of government (and going to Kentucky reminded me of that). I like the idea of there being something more to life than just life but I don't know what that something might be, should be or could be.
Here's the thing though, my brother and I both went to church a lot as kids--Sunday morning, Sunday night and Thursday night every week. My parents must have had some faith to go to church that often and it certainly bothers my mom that neither my sister or I go to church. However, my brother always seemed to have more success at the endeavor of being a good church member than me. We were both baptised the same day, in the same lake and by the same minister. I was probably 10 or so and my brother would have been 13. However, we seemed to take different paths after that. Frankly I don't know what drove my brother to be baptised. I think I did it out of fear more than faith--better safe than sorry would probably be a good explanation.
In addition, my brother did a brief stint as a Sunday school teacher when he was in High School. I served as the Sunday School offering collection girl one year but that just lead me to criminal activity (enough said). My brother always went to summer bible camp as well but it freaked me out so I never went. (If you've seen the cycle-smart cx dvd you know that I have a fear of camps). My brother and I did once go to a weekend bible retreat in the winter. I'm not sure what he got out of it but for me it was my first exposure to cross country skiing (see, so I can't say that organized religion never did anything for me). I do remember that he skipped the sermon part of the weekend just as much as I did so he certainly had his moments.
It was from my brother that I learned to ask questions about what was taught in Sunday School. I don' t remember that ever getting him into trouble but somehow when I asked questions it caused people to freak out, cry and generally be unhappy with me. In high school I eventually went too far and caused a big uproar in the church which subsequently caused me to declare that I would never go back. And I did stop going to church then.
During college my brother had a brief atheist stage. He did get married in a church though so it must have been short lived. Somehow though he came back to faith with a vengeance. I always thought it was because he moved south and that going to church was required to have any social life. It seems it was much more than that.
Anyway, at his funeral I marveled at the faith that everyone proclaimed that he had. His wife, his kids, his friends, his neighbors they all seemed to believe that although he would be missed that he now had moved on to this fabulous place with god and that he took comfort in that when he went into surgery.
Is the difference my environment in Madison versus Kentucky? Is there just something innate or genetic in some people that they come by faith easier than others? Is it just that some people are more skeptical or cynical about everything? It is interesting and I have no answer.
I don't have any answers that's for sure. (And I'm struck by the feeling that I will now be struck by lightning for my blasphemy or some such thing that is used to strike fear in the heart of godless children).
I had hoped to offer a discourse on the differing salads available in the south versus the north at church functions. However, Dave and I did not partake in the post-service luncheon as my mom wanted to go back to the hotel to rest. You can blame my mom for the above less amusing blog entry as I'm sure a contrast and comparison of jello salads, fruit salads, pasta salads, ham sandwiches and other luncheon goodies would have been much funnier.
posted by MadCross at 12:30 PM
2 Comments:
My stepfather is very religious. He's also somewhat naive and not particularly educated, so debates on the subject don't get anywhere. But when it comes to living what he believes in, he's an example to everyone. I don't think it really matters what the differences between the various religions are, so long as you follow your beliefs with integrity. It sounds like your brother, like my stepfather, is such a person. I wish I were more like him in that regard.
I think that you have to believe in whatever helps you be a better person, whatever helps you get through the day knowing you have a "purpose".
Does it really matter what that "higher force" is called? Or if you even believe there is a "higher force"? Sure there are different beliefs for different religions, for different people, etc, but doesn't it all boil down to how we feel about OURSELVES at the end of the day and how we've touched other's lives?
I'm sorry for your loss.
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